SORRYSORRYSORRY I'm back.

I don't have too much to update on, apart from turning up at training tonight, and my colleague shows me a page on facebook and says 'Who needs a boyfriend when you can have this?' the page name? "Girl's Wank Bank." I just stood there wetting myself laughing, I think I said something along the lines of 'I'll give up the search for Mr Right then, thank god.' She cracks me up I love her.

I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY. And as normal, I found a way to super embarrass myself, starting with discovering that you really should try clothes on when you go shopping, I put on my new gym kit and the boob restrainer bit was halfway up my bra, so I had to wrench it down and it meant I was cleavage-central (have to say I didn't mind this, seeing lack of I normally have). Then, the tight fitting trousery things must have forced a good couple of kilograms off my arse that session, they were so tight. I was incredibly tempted to take a picture for your amusement, but decided that would be verging on strange. So I didn't. In case you were wondering.

After that, I was on the cross trainer dancing and mouthing along to Nicole Scherzinger, and Evie kept laughing at me. Then I went to do 'toning exercises' which is basically, when I'm really tired I go to the mats round the corner of the cross trainers, so Evie can't see that I'm actually just having a lie down. If anyone looked I started bending a bit, or changing my iPod song. Those classic tricks. I love the gym. You get a free swim if you go as well, as long as they don't notice you slipping in, that is.

Here's a video of Ollie and I pretending to be from Made In Chelsea:

For some reason fridays always make me feel really nervous. I actually love being at school, I always think I hate it all summer and then as soon as it comes I realise how much I miss even having a reason to not be at home trapped in the house. But friday nights make me feel sort of weird, I have to say I'm feeling particularly queasy tonight.

But I've downloaded 'Good Life' onto my iPod and that's my new repeat song. Tonight I'm going to tidy and organise everything for next week. And I want to properly start on my book 'Life' that my brother has given me. So far its had a lot of clever words in and I'm desperately trying to keep up with them.

I feel like a winter nurture evening, so I'm going to make myself some tea, get my slobs on, sit and read and then have a bath later.

Today, I'm feeling pretty stressed I have to say. This term I've got to maintain choir, driving lessons, work shifts, stage, the revue, A level and my remarking. And whenever they mention how much we have to do this year, my gut twists itself up and I get really panicky. I wish they'd do it in a nicer way because it's not really helping me to 'relax'. I guess I shouldn't expect much, it's the year I've been dreading since year 7 and it's here.

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Interestingly, I decided to wait for a while before I continued that. In evaluation, the reason I probably felt stressed was because I was blogging instead of actually doing the stuff that needed to be done.

So here is my topic for this evening: See-through clothing.

Now. I've decided to go for the whole 'classy' thing, seeing as dressing like an 'aggressive lesbian,' (thanks mum for that quote), wasn't really working for me. I've bought two white dresses on asos. The first is pretty lovely, but there are definite bra issues at the back so I shall need to wear it in winter with a jacket. The second dress, makes me look a bit like a nurse. I sort of like it, but because it's white and not lined YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING. Thankfully, this morning I selected black underwear out of my drawers, which has opened my eyes to this. God forbid I were to throw it on tomorrow in the excitement of its arrival and in the dark, mistake that it shows EVERYTHING YOU COULD IMAGINE.

So that made me think, okay well, maybe mum could make me a lining. But why do I have to make the lining? And why is every white fabric see through? It isn't at all a trend I would go for. If you want to buy see through clothing you would go all out for it and wear bloody fishnet vests. This is simply not what I wanted. So I am undecided about returning it. I may have to try out every pair of pants I can find tonight and make up my mind.

This is what I had hoped it would look like:

Now, this has to be the worst advert I've ever seen for a dating site. I mean, I'm all for mature people's dating sites, don't get me wrong. But is this really the finest woman they could pick of the lot? Actually, it seems to be ringing a few bells with me... yep. Yep I know why it's familiar.

The resemblance is striking.

I'm really excited, my dad's just paid for me to do a writing course for a term with Out of Joint theatre company. I'm actually bloody relieved, since deciding to take english at uni instead of drama I have nothing to write about on my personal statement.

Mum went to work again tonight, so this happened again:

Also, my dad is reading a book which his friend has just self published, and he says it's really enjoyable and he's loving it. So if anyone has a dad's birthday coming up, then buy this. Make your parents. Please.

http://www.troubador.co.uk/book_info.asp?bookid=1719

Okay, I'll admit, I didn't do the run or the yoga. In fact, I woke up at 9, don't remember my alarm even going off, (that's how heavily I sleep), then got ready to go and was too early still. Thank god I didn't wake up at 7. I did get to tidy my room though. A bit. The clothes are sorted anyway.

So now, I feel more chilled about this year. Miss Evans was very calm, no one yelled at me for my class civ result, and I could actually afford a drink from Boston afterwards. Had a catch up with some people which was good. Told Zara about my dream.

I had a really weird dream. I was 16 again, married to some random guy my age and me and my parents and him were going round to everyone who thought it was weird saying 'Ohh no we're just married for now, for fun. I'm not going to end up married to him ( / her).' It was very odd. And then I was at a train station leaping over the tracks because I didn't want to be late for school, and the middle platform was apparently where everyone went when they felt depressed. It was a really old train station as well, all rusty and disgusting.

I slept pretty well obviously. But it's too hot.

Had a meeting for drama revue today, and we're struggling with ideas a bit. There were a couple of good ones in the box, but honestly we'd like to hear more, seeing as we don't have many so far. If anyone has any ideas, send a joint message to Hannah Armstrong, Jessie Whittick, Ruth Price and me. It'd be really helpful to get some more themes on the table. Soon we'll have an outline and ask people to put some scenes together, so we'll keep everyone posted. (Or I will, virtually, on here, talking to myself).

Still annoyed about Doctor Who yesterday:

So stupid.

I realise I've gone a bit frequent with the blogging today, but I don't care.

I'm in bed, having just downloaded 'Say it right' onto my iPod, and I love it so much I've got it on repeat. And it was only 59p! Crazy!

I am just in a ridiculously good mood tonight. I'm going to wake up at 7 tomorrow morning, go for a run and do my yoga, then tidy my room. I feel like I'm about to go into one of those 'FUCK YEAH' phases. It's weird, I think I'll miss being a teenage when your moods are all up and down. Because the 'FUCK YEAH' moments, when you're not even drunk are just the best thing ever.