Salisbury

  I used to absolutely hate Salisbury. My first problem was knowing people working in the Cathedral for a while, and I grew to despise the self-righteous way the organisation was run. I felt, and still do, that the narrow mindedness of our 'city' was completely based around that bloody building. It's amazing how we are given something stunning to care for and we manage to make it into this exclusive club which says it is just 'protecting' the structure. So frustrating.

  Other aspects I despised were the falseness of Salisbury; we live in this ironically un-cultured place in our little middle class white person bubble and it's boring. It was also the snobbery of South Wilts and Bishops, the two grammar schools. Now, I absolutely adored my first five years at South Wilts, but by the time you get the kids into the final two years for some reason everyone thinks we are the premium people. Kids swanning around and acting like we are at a private school and being horrendously segregated from one another. Because we are all so similar, the criteria drawn up in between groups was so petty. I absolutely hated sixth form, it was the most miserable two years of my school life and I'm not afraid to say that now.

  I never had a set group of friends, I was more of a floater. God forbid I set foot in the middle circle though, to talk to Georgina or Jessie. Any of you reading this from sixth form at SWGS, you have to agree with this. When I made friends with some people from the year above, I felt like I was made to feel incredibly guilty by people in my year, because I was trying, because I was punching above my weight, because I was obsessed with them. I had to have conversations trying to justify why I spent any time with them and it drove me mad. Thank god when it ended, then people were saying 'Remember when you tried to get in with the year above?' Horrific behaviour.

  BUT. I am not in South Wilts anymore, and I am not inside the Cathedral. Salisbury has become a beautiful city to me. Rolling hills, ten minute drive into the countryside, on route to London, to the sea, good shopping and good people. Once I was free from school, I fell in love with the place I live in. We complain, but there is nowhere in the country so safe, stunning and with so many options. We are so lucky to have all of that in one place.

  It occurred to me the other day, that this time next week I won't live in Salisbury again. I go to Wales before I go travelling, then I'm out of the country for 5 months and then I come back to Wales and move to Reading. I feel quite emotional to be leaving, I have had a great childhood here and good employment.

  The world is a big place though, and now I can get out into it. You don't realise how great it will be when you step outside those school gates. There are opportunities you wouldn't ever believe and they're yours to choose from.

 I've been silent on here for a while, I suppose because I've been thinking about my future, and my feelings about this have changed. As they should, and will continue to do. The main reason I haven't posted anything in a while is because the lovely James Bache read it (somehow) and he told me it was boring because he wasn't mentioned on it anywhere. Dickhead.

  I have just seven days of work left, my last shift in 2 years, 4 months at L'occitane, which I am feeling extremely sad about. They have been such good employers to me and I will miss the products so much!

  Of course the biggest thing ever in my life so far, the most daunting challenge I have had to undertake is going to begin on the first of April. For those who aren't aware, I will be catching a flight to Hanoi. Bache's flight doesn't get in for a good 9 hours after mine. I can picture two possibilities, a) me arriving, getting into a taxi to go to central Hanoi, being taken miles from anywhere and mugged because it was a phony taxi company, being lost, eating some pizza from a mysterious van and suddenly feeling unwell. Bache will then have to arrive, find me and sort me out. Or, option b) sitting with a large bar of toblerone anxiously watching everyone around me and reading a book for 9 hours.

  Anyway, I have a 5 month journey ahead of me then. What am I most scared about? Being with someone every moment of every day for 3 months is what I'm afraid of. I think that's understandable. When I booked this trip, I was going to be an independent girl taking the guts to go alone and grow up. Now the whole trip has changed it's image in my head. I'm relieved and excited, don't get me wrong. But I have niggling thoughts: what if we argue, what if I annoy him too much, what if we don't want to do the same things. But we'll just have to see.