I'm feeling really upbeat today. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I'm not going to feel guilty about being happy. Sometimes you can be just walking with people you feel happy around, and that can be enough for you. I mean, look at today, I haven't finished my art project in for tomorrow, I have about 4 essays due in for thursday and my boyfriend rubbed his friends spit on me today. But actually it's the imperfections in my life that I love the most.

Not that I'm all set on promoting my misfortunes, I don't have any serious problems, but the little shit that happens everyday in my life keeps me happy. Bad stuff only happens so you appreciate the good stuff. You can really learn to appreciate things, whether it's the rare occasion of Mr Owen smiling, or a throwaway compliment from someone you weren't expecting one, or even just knowing your friend is going to tell you off for copying her nail varnish tomorrow. I don't know, it makes me feel ok. In a way, when anything actually goes wrong in my life, I'm sort of happy with that. Maybe it's actually being able to feel yourself progressing and learning things.

And recently, I've started to pick up on all my faults. I'm a gossip. That may as well be diagnosed. But actually, once you see these imperfections, you can put them right before they cause harm. Before one day I really have to keep a secret. And if my targets for day to day are nothing more than to evaluate and develop myself into being the person I want to be, then that's ok. The weird thing is, people generally have idols which are other people, and they look up to them. I've started to move away from that, I get too jealous of people, and I'm now looking at a perfect version of myself for progression.

Here's a list I came up with of things I need to fix, and they're things people tell me often:
1. Indoor voice
2. Pleather leggings from TK Maxx in a size larger than you are just aren't fetching.
3. Talk about myself less - it's not even funny anymore
4. Worry less about work - apart from art. Always worry about art.
5. Think less about analysing situations, you're fucked anyway.

That's all I have so far, but that'll do for today.

God I miss MIC:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIxJOBb0ydw&list=PLC723B4C4326DA161&index=19&feature=plpp_video

Was just looking back over my videos from the beginning of last year and thought I'd blog them. I'm so different now. 

This is one of my early videos from the 9th of May:

And this is the video from today (not very interesting, but the difference is interesting):

Oh. My. Gosh. Well, as girls school develops in sixth form for us year 12s, the claws come out! Seen a lot of people crying today, and the gossip is everywhere, about loads of different things. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT ONCE!! Aah the stress. Sometimes I find it nice that my life consists of eating breakfast and going to bed at half 10.

Tomorrow I'm so nervous, I have an eye appointment to sort out why my vision's been going all funny lately, so I've been eating toblerone all evening and playing this video over and over:

Georgina makes my life. And it looks like we're going to be doing a writing competition now? We don't pay attention in english and this is how she repays us? Also, just to let you know Georgina and I have taken up writing songs about things that happen to us, and we'll be releasing an album some time soon, I'll keep you posted.

Since a lot of people at school have had a hard day today, here is a video which is saved on my computer as 'WATCH THIS WHEN YOU ARE SAD' and it literally cheers me up every time. This is yet another video of Georgina being mad, and me trying to sort everything out in the background for her. (In this case I was tidying for a place to put her mattress).

Wow. What a night last night. Bethany managed to spell the word 'watch' wrong so Robin's cake said 'Keep calm wath Sherlock' which is funny because she texted me before she iced the cake asking how you spell Sherlock. Took James, Beth and Catt back to town this morning in the mexican brothel themed campervan we own, and as soon as we got in mum threw croissants and pain au chocolat at us.

So, anyway, highlights from the party have to be having a massively long drunk conversation with James about how.... nevermind. The important thing is we both decided I look good in hats. Then the next morning when 3 people came into Robin's bed with us and he got all grumpy and faced the wall flat, with ALL the covers. And Jessie looking at her cut this morning and saying:
'How did I get this?'
'Oh you fell down a hill trying to say goodbye to Aine'
'I don't talk to Aine!'
 Also, dangerously, started using 'DMC' without it being sarcastic, I must stop this.

The concert, I have to admit, was a little bit.... meh. In fact, if there's a better way to describe than 'meh' I'll give you a hundred pounds. And I can afford that. It just didn't really feel like a perfect end to an 18 year long career. Maybe people just weren't in the mood. And the awkward scene change waiting for the orchestra, never heard an audience nervous laugh in a concert before. But Cassie made my evening. She was wearing a lacey dress under her A Cappella outfit, and these high heels that she couldn't get up the stairs in. She was of course, going clubbing afterwards. Typical Cassie. I love her.

Had another shift at work stealing chocolates and cleaning stuff. And breaking stuff. I always break stuff. I smashed a bottle of perfume and it went all over my cardigan sleeve, now I smell like a lemon. I feel like I need a holiday! I'd love to leap on a train and go somewhere with a friend, not tell anyone where we are and come back like 4 days later, no harm done. Dream on. Knowing me though, I'd probably end up dying somehow. I can't deal with change.

But I'd say the best part of the night was listening to an LP playing of the xx. I have a boyfriend with good taste. I feel sadly proud of that. But if he ever tries to play top trumps with me, I'll... cut them up. Wow. That sounded a lot more emoey than I'd hoped......... ANYWAY.

So yeah, in summary, I love James Kelly, I love Jessie Whittick, I love Beth Woolgrove, and I love Robin's dad. He gave me wheetabix. Bless.

For my link today, I've got an xx song. I've loved this song and wanted to find it for ages, and it's so weird that it's by the band I've just fallen in love with. This song has a brilliant sense of tragedy and freedom about it. I want it on my iPod when I'm driving and looking out the window all thoughtfully -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L73OLaG4_kA

Since I'm going out tonight, I thought I'd do the post now. Been a hectic day already. Had work this morning, which was interesting. The first man who came in asked me where New Canal was and then told me I had good posture. I mean, that's nice to know, but why on earth do people point out things like that? Still, good on you strange man. Had a lovely time with Aimee and Lauren, and when I answered the phone I didn't mess it up this time. Despite being pretty sure it was on speakerphone next to my ear, I didn't say anything embarrassing this time (I'm not even going to describe what happened last time). I even had a surprise visit from Pender, which was nice.

Then I'd rehearsal for choir, which was tiring. I ate two packets of crisps and now I'm shaking from not eating healthy stuff. I dropped my music down underneath the stage and had to get Aidan to crawl under and pick it up for me, which probably ruined one of his lovely checkered shirts. Sorry Aidan.

Then walked home with dad, I've just had a lovely long shower to sort out my hair, (because it was looking far too emo-ey), and now it's gone a lovely dark brown- hooray! Now time to pick an outfit for Robin's tonight, but I'm failing miserably. Also now slightly worried about the card Jessie made me buy. But hey. What can possibly go wrong?!! Haha!!!!!!

Also just found out James Kelly's coming tonight which will be lovely because he's lovely. But feeling a bit nervous and on edge, I think I'm just bummed that I'll be late for the pardy because I'm at this concert. I love the concerts, don't get me wrong, but I hate to think I'd miss anything good.

My plans for the concert tonight are to be completely professional and behave like an adult at all times. After pulling faces into the Salisbury Journal camera today, I think that's probably the right way to behave tonight. Besides, I'm too tired to do anything exciting. Maybe I'll chew some gum when no one's looking to be rebellious.... although actually the thought of that made me feel doubley nervous so I think I'll just let dad be the naughty one tonight.

Link for tonight?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngmz7Dfs9CU&feature=autoplay&list=PL61664A7554D238D0&lf=plpp_video&playnext=1

Listen to the first minute and 10 seconds of this and it's amazing, then it gets shit. Skip to the next song after that.

If I thought I was struggling with finding something to talk about yesterday, I definitely am today. It's been one of those days where everything could've been lovely, but one thing messed it up. That one thing being I forgot my purse, so I had no money to go shopping this afternoon. Had to meet up with my dad and borrow some, then decided birthday shopping isn't my forte and quit.

Quickly, here's a good song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6gHLHbYVeA&feature=autoplay&list=PLC723B4C4326DA161&lf=plpp_video&playnext=2

Check out my playlist too, if you like that song you'll like the playlist.

Today, I was absent minded. In my head, I was in London ready to start shooting some corny TV programme for teenagers who don't belong. Like Misfits or Skins or something. Since when was the fashion of teenage personalities to be really fucked up?

I've started writing again, but I want to persevere this time. Get past that brick wall I always come up against. Then again, I always used to write things in the wrong order and then get confused, but George the other day said about writing things which you're in the mood for. Actually yeah, that's the way to go about it. I reckon I'm going to write and then when the thing I'm writing's done, I'll go through and edit it to make logical sense. Problem is coming up with a complicated plot hurts my brain.

I wish I were one of those poetic people who read clever books and live in a house by the sea alone, wearing really old clothing. Problem is, those people never get left in peace by the end of their lives, and I think peace is what I need. Everyday the temptation to just get on a train gets larger and larger. I'm hoping it lasts till uni, I don't want to buckle halfway through year 13. I read this website the other day about dealing adolescents and it said this:

"Parents often feel they have lost any sort of control or influence over their child. Adolescents want their parents to be clear and consistent about rules and boundaries, but at the same time may resent any restrictions on their growing freedom and ability to decide for themselves."

Very true.

When I'm a parent and my kids reach 16, I'm going to send them to live in a tent in the garden.

I wish my life were a movie, maybe someday I'll sleep looking at the stars for fun. It's funny, I know I'm not perfect at acting and I'm only young, but I feel like this is where my life is going. I trust feelings, sometimes things you just know are going to happen, do happen. Positive thinking's meant to make your life sort itself out to be positive. If that makes sense. This blog makes no sense. Muffin.

So, I was a bit challenged for an idea for tonights blog, but I've decided, (since there's nothing else to 'review'), to write about my day. May sound pretty dull, till you remember it's Poppy Evans talking here, and I'm always doing random things which get me into difficulty.

Here's an exact look at how my day was, including annoying girls things like.... feelings. I woke up late as normal, but lay in bed for a while longer, then mum started cooking me a pancake at around 5 to, so we were a bit late leaving, but oh well. As I walked down the hill with Emily and Rosa, this white van went past us and drove so slowly, we got a very long awkward and extremely close by eye up by a guy next to the van driver. I never understand people who are in the seat next to the van driver. What are they there for? Moral support? He's only driving for god's sake.

Got to school, went and binned my old artwork, you know, the weird cardboard box that Mrs Stratton had taken one look at and said 'What's that?' 'A sculpture.' 'Oh ok.' Cheers for the support dude. Then I had class civ, where I gave a fascinating presentation on women and the family. When I got back to my desk, James had left me a locket on the table (my throat was hurting). Thanks James.

Drama was awful because I had a bit of a row with a team member, and I feel a bit bad about it now. But he was in a bad mood and so was I, so it was bound to happen. And James stood up for me which was sweet (a different James). Thanks James.

Then I went straight from drama into binge mode- I sprinted to Waitrose in the break, (including more rowing with the team member), and bought £8 worth of chocolate- 2 slabs of 100g, a medium toblerone and a large bag of magic stars. Thankfully, Georgina cheered me up in english and now most of it's still in my room.

So in english Georgina cheered me up by winning at dots and boxes, drawing a picture of a girl calling me a loser on my english exam paper and tried to draw all over my hand. But unfortunately, despite all this she still managed to make me laugh. Or was it that girl who kept nodding off at the end of the lesson....

Highlights of the day have to be seeing a family friend at school on a placement and having a really exciting phone call with my brother on the phone. (Obviously, how else can you have a phone call). And I just made a cake, but I can't publicly write why yet until after it's been used (keeping you all on your toes).

Awwww..... and Georgina just texted me saying- Put the yellow nail varnish in your bag NOW.

She's lovely.

Right I'm off to find my pants. I used to have hundreds of pairs and now they're gone, it's very frustrating.

Listen to this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PElhV8z7I60&ob=av2e

SO this blog is all about my friend Georgina. Typical of her, I told her I'd started a blog and she commanded me to write an entry all about how amazing she is and how much I love her, so here it is Georgina, please don't kill me for uploading this video.

Where to begin. Georgina has a way of always making me laugh, whether it's something stupid she's done or whether I'm laughing at her laughing at me, either way we're always in fits of giggles around each other. Yeah ok, so I might be failing english language and general studies because of her constant need for chats and playing dots and boxes on every sheet we get given until we're both about to cry, (which secretly I'm equally keen to do), but I'm just so in awe of her I forgive her.

I guess you could say we're sort of opposites, anything I like she doesn't, but we're both shit at english which brings us together. The thing about Georgina is, if you're ever slightly low, she's the one who'll brighten your day as soon as you see her. Normally with some odd comment or stupid joke but you'll be laughing before you really understand why. I also always find myself surprised by her, like, for example, I'm quite a suck up for altering my opinions to agree with people I'm getting to know, which I'm trying to stop. Anyway, when Georgina and I sat next to each other in english at the beginning of the year we would talk about stuff and I would change my opinions to what I thought she would think. But Georgina always agreed with me on stuff like talking back at teachers and... um.... I can't think of another example but you get the idea. Embarrassingly, I'd then have to do the whole, 'oh actually yeah I agree with you.'

I doubt she'll understand that last bit and I'll have to explain it to her.

I'm getting a bit stuck for ideas now, so I'm just going to put a couple of memories:
G- "Mr Dew, if I finish my coursework draft by wednesday-"
P- "You won't."
G- "Yeah but if I do."
P- "You won't though."
G- "..."

G- "He was pregnant with my... urrr... I was... urrr.... ummmm.... he was, I was urrrr...."

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'm tired Georgina, so you can tell me off for this tomorrow.

also, just found this and I think it sums me up nicely, but in a slightly more positive way:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9A-xhMALlOG5WIzwUeiM2bW-Qu5GisioaJQ4oLYpqAdcB_AddK9Vy0Nj13QIOrm_hgV5BXHsUq4opLGgaMLzsuJWPJDG_6o1Y1b5ivMHLwBH3tV4OFDeO1j_nUcnRePNYmHyaXEnbvx7S/s1600/ShitHappens1.jpg

This is my first time writing a blog, and basically I thought I'd do random shit on here, theatre reviews, tips on how to act like a complete social letch and yet remain super cool at the same time. Things like that. Oh and I'll probably post some really annoying songs on here a lot because I like them.

So how am I today? Well, not too bad. I mean, when it gets to the evening and I'm sat alone with my laptop and all I want to do is write and act and sing and I can't because I have work to do it's just a little depressing, knowing you don't have time to do the things that make you happy. And watching my best friend quite upset tonight was quite unsettling, and my blackberry is blinking at me and I'm getting all stressed and angry at it for doing that. Why do they do that? No point, I know I have a text, piss off. Argh.

Anyway, it's all good because I'm very happy generally, just riding the storm at the minute. Maybe it's just a wave... feels like a storm. Ah well, chin up, chest out and so on.

Lyric for the evening? I am yours now, so I don't ever have to leave. Tuuuune. Nanight.