http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF8BRvqGCNs

I had the best time in London with Bex. But I've come back with a headful of confusion and stress.

I'm not going to tell you about London today. I'm going to talk.

My brother's are 6 and 8 years older than me, which is quite a considerable gap. I don't know if anyone else in our year has this, but it has affected me more than anyone else. When the boys left home I missed them hugely, because really my proper family I suppose is Mum, Dad and me. And there real family is their dad, Mum and each other. As we've grown I've seen that effecting us more, mainly because I don't see them much so they don't remember how old I am or anything. I feel distant from them which is a shame.

But it's also built up this huge jealousy in me, I've always wanted to be where they are in life. In year 8 to 11 I was dead ready for University life, gagging for it to be closer. Then in year 12 we all started to plan going to Uni, but my brother's have a different life now. They have flats, flatmates, friends, careers, hopes, goals, they know where they want to go with their lives. So while we were all busily signing up for University I got to experience life after that occasionally. Seeing them in London was like watching an episode of a T.V series you really obsess over. Not surprising then, is it, that I've moved on from University and now wish I were past all of that.

So now it looks as though I'm turning down my offers and re-considering. I'll take my gap and try and figure out what the hell I want. Do I want to go and study letters and nouns just so I might possibly get an opening into journalism? Not really.

I am clinging onto my gap year for inspiration. Barney had a gap year that ended before he'd planned it to, and Joz went straight to uni. So while I feel like I'm constantly wishing I was where they are, I'm also doing something different and that's a good sign. Maybe after that I'll know what I want to do and I'll go and drink for 3 years and get in debt that I'll have to pay off for the rest of my life. Maybe. Who knows?

Do you know how scary it is to not know where you're going or what you want? I have no passion for anything I've discovered yet, and that's scary. I'm hugely emotional and my emotions are what I take value of more than the other stuff, so if there's a job in that it's mine.

But one thing I'm getting through all of this, is that it may be incredibly terrifying, but it also feels right. I still believe I'll do something extraordinary with my life, and maybe that doesn't come from following the University route. Feels like the first day of the rest of my life.

I doubt I'll be able to blog over the next three days, because I'm going to London with Bex. I am unbelievably excited. We pre-booked the hotel in January so it was cheap as chips and now it's finally here!! Yes!!!!

Right now I have the best task ever: packing. I love packing. I get to choose the outfits I'm going to wear, check the weather and then BAM I'm ready!!! I may even make a list. How exciting. Later tonight, Bex and I are going to see the play 'Missing' that my brother's written, which is also very exciting. Then my parents are both gone somewhere and hopefully Barney and someone from the show are staying over, which means food and a larf. We may even drive to Nisa, which would be doubly exciting because my brother can't drive and it'll make me look all grown up.

HOORAY!

Until then, I have some estate agents who are going to measure my house. Therefore Mum has gone into host overdrive and is baking like a mad woman, lighting fires and candles and cleaning EVERYTHING so I should probably go and help before she has a coronary.

Pip pip.

You may have noticed, I have changed the name of my blog and the appearance a fair amount also. As of yet I'm not entirely convinced 'Just Jottings' works but it sounds quite nice, so I'll see if I like it more. I've been looking at other blog recently, these two in particular:

http://mojomade.blogspot.co.uk/

http://epic-thread.blogspot.co.uk/

They have their own logo and everything and the layout is really nice and clear. I'm desperately trying to work out how to do that on Blogspot without it costing any money, because I do want to carry this on for my gap year and into the future from there. So that's why it's changed a lot. If anyone has any name ideas please help me!!

Bored of watching vlogs from Poppy Evans? Why not watch this leaked scene from Made In Chelsea Series 5?

Cups / Lurpaks

There were many many takes of this, so I had to stop when my hands were numb and just choose one. It's not perfect, but hey ho, that's Lurpak sometimes.

Enjoy!

Looking Back On My Childhood

  If I were a grown up, looking back at my young years, what would I think so far? Imagine it. I'm the perfect version of myself, the best version I can be because I'm older. I'm experienced and developed, broken hundreds of habits over the years and learnt to control myself in a way my young self couldn't... maybe it would sound something like this:

  I was always devastated as a child that there was nothing wrong with my life. I wanted some big tragedy: a death, some kind of personality disorder. I focussed my energy into hoping something awful would happen, trying to attract some negative attention. Perhaps it's why I made a fool of myself for the entire of my school life, because it made people laugh. Perhaps it explains why 'these things always happen to me' was a frequent phrase of mine. But through the time I spent googling 'personality disorders,' you know, just to check I didn't have any, I was so up and down I couldn't help feeling I was holding myself back somehow.

  I'm wise enough and old enough to understand now that I was attention seeking. I resented that about myself, though I secretly knew it all along. Having two daughters of my own, watching them I understand more and more about myself. I wonder if one only ever satisfies the teenage feelings of 'Who Am I?' when one has children to observe. My elder daughter is quiet, she doesn't waste time on her emotions. She controls them and that's always how I wanted to be. She seems okay about living that way, so it's win win really; she gets to be the extremely mysterious and beautiful creature, and who didn't want to be like that growing up? I envy her.

  My younger daughter, on the other hand, is me. Don't tell her I said that though. She's highly emotive, irritates herself more than anyone else and spends hours thinking and nit-picking about every tiny detail that has been in reference to herself throughout her day. Call it attention seeking, or just major insecurity. Now, I'd say personally, I was attention seeking. I had my confidence issues but they weren't really the real route of my analysing hobby. Why did she say that, what did she mean? Does she want to be friends with me? Did I give her a bad impression? I probably just like to think about myself. In a strange sort of attention seeking way... I gave myself attention, does that make sense?

  As for my decisions, it's all rather boring. I have one or two more interesting stories but the types of fun I had in school would be tying tampons to my friends car windscreen wipers rather than running off to other cities and taking drugs. Nothing interesting in it really, I loved the idea of being rebellious but never could be. So while I don't regret the decisions I did make, (I came to terms with some of my idiotic mistakes while I was still young), the one thing I regret is not making decisions. You always wonder what if? But realistically I'm imagining the kind of what ifs? that would've resulted in If I Could Go Back...

  So mistakes were made, sort of. I was hurt, used, like everyone else. That's hardly a life experience in my eyes. I always believed you should get over the twatty minor issues and not make a fuss in anyone's life (hugely hypocritical of me). Hypocritical, but I knew what direction I wanted to take and I think that's a good quality to have. I may have been attention seeking but I wasn't blind, I knew myself and hand on heart I knew what I had to sort out. So my decisions weren't bad.

  And if I could go back? I'd perhaps push the boundaries more. I'd love to have a couple of stories like: "So we went to France one night randomly..." or "So I woke up with a seal licking my face..." Things that would thrill my children.

  All I can hope is that they have a childhood they don't regret, and one they don't feel they didn't explore enough. As long as they're safe and let me know occasionally that they're still alive, they can do what they like as far as I'm concerned. No point wrapping your children in cotton wool, independence should be learnt from an early age and being protective isn't going to do anyone any favours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVbkz_3lO3c

WELL WELL WELL I was ill today, hope y'all missed me, and I spent most of the day thinking about my gap yaaar AND I AM SO EXCITED I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY YAAY!! I made a folder and printed stuff out, and I want to make a list of everyone I know taking a gap and what they're doing and then see if we can meet up with people.

BUT THE MOST EXCITING PART is that you can hire a campervan from the age of 18+ and drive it round New Zealand!! Which means Bex and I can go WHEREVER WE WANT. IN A CAMPERVAN. WITH BEDS. AND MOUNTAINS. AND A GAS COOKER.

NOW TELL ME THAT'S NOT SMACK YOUR MA ROUND THE FACE, SPONTANEOUSLY BUY SOME MAGNUMS FANTASTIC?!!!

I only did one of the above things... guess which.

GOOD NIGHT.

How is my weekend going?

Thanks for asking.

Well, I started Friday by going to school, (which is good and sensible because that's what you're meant to do on Fridays), then in the evening I had planned our 'antisocial' which consisted of a bunch of people going to Bournemouth and eating chips and dancing round the beach like an episode of Skins, but, happier. Saying that actually I've never watched Skins. Maybe I should seeing as I talk about it so often.

Bit off topic there. Sorry. So, that was the plan, but you saw the rain right? Ain't nobody got time for that. Instead Ollie came round and we sat in front of the fire putting more wood on it so it would keep being fire. Then my parents came home and Mum said "Why don't you stay here and sit in the den with your friends?" This sounded like a plan. So we picked up Bex and Izzy, some Raspberry Liquor and £1.30 'champagne' and the fun began. We then went to MacDonalds (which I still owe Bex the money for). Then we went back to mine and James Kelly came over and joined us, how jolly.

It was nice to just sit and talk. I remember when I was younger, when my brother's had people over I thought he was incredible cool for having friends.

So we had people over, then my throat started to really hurt and everyone went home, I went to bed. Then Saturday brought a 9 hour shift. That was tiring, I felt like death. Last night I watched Best Exotic Marigold Hotel home alone and I was brave, I had to go out into the dark round at the corner of my house to re-fill the wood in the baskets. It was very scary. Well done Poppy!

Tried to have a lie in this morning but my nose wouldn't let me, so I've been up and steamed my face, now I'm drinking tea and listening to 'Radioactive' - Imagine Dragons. Good song.

Here's a picture I took last night, I think it's exactly what all fires should look like:

Finally, I had a dream last night that Dad took me out for a family meal and he told me that he'd had a gay affair with Barney Kidner's dad years ago, and that Barney was his son. So he became my half brother and I went to tell Joz. It was strange.

Feeling in a weird vortex at the moment, my concentration on everything is kind of dazed. It was nice today to hear some positive feedback on my English investigation, sort of re-established some passion when I needed it. Apart from that, my day has consisted of gaining two painful ulsas in my mouth. I realise this may not be pleasant news to you but my mouth feels bruised and I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

Tom left the common room in quite a state today when he was shoved into some pasta. I'm sure the cleaners really appreciated this one:

Anyway. Here's a nice pre-event excitement, it's 12 days today until Bex and I go to London and I am super excited. We've got free tickets to London Zoo and Madame Tussaud because of Bex's Mum's nectar points, free tickets to Stomp and we pre-booked the Travel Lodge ages ago so it was really cheap too. SO SO EXCITED. We've looked up places to shop in advance and planned out our days. IT'S GOING TO BE FUN. We can have girly chats and go shopping and eat lunch because that's what grown ups do.

Hurray!

I don't know if anyone is interested in this, but please take a look:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/181096122563?ssPageName=STRK:MEUSX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1562.l2649

I'm trying to get back on track of my sleeping pattern. Until such a time, good night.

I've started to dedicate time to reading again, which has been really nice. It's one of those hobbies (if reading counts as that) I go through phases of doing it, and always love it when I do. But then it's nice to have a lapse to really appreciate it. If anyone's looking for a good read that makes you feel like you're reading something cultural and intellectual, then go for Lady Chatterley's Lover by D H Lawrence (I think he's an established writer and everything). It's old fashioned speak but not in a way that makes you get really confused and switch off. It's enjoyable. I like it.

I'm tired. That is all you're getting. (Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen).

R.I.P Colonel 2009-2013

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain

Colonel is dying and I can't bear it. I didn't think it would bother me when the time came seeing as I don't like the chickens much, but it's heart breaking watching her. She's barely moved for around two weeks and the past two days she didn't come out at all, so Mum and Dad took her out and when I came down this morning Mum was forcing liquid medicine down her throat. It's pretty clear that it's not going to save her though.

She's now curled up in a massive bucket with loads of hay and water and food (which she hasn't touched) with her eyes shut, all curled up in herself. Mum's put a crystal on the floor by her, she's getting all spiritual about her surviving. It's so sad.

We've been playing calm music in the room with her, and if you stand and watch her she occasionally moves or curls up more, eyes shut. She's so vulnerable looking. It's not nice to keep having to check she's alive, sometimes I have to blow air at her to see if she's still here.

Bit of a nasty reminder about the fragility of life, whenever I try and encourage her to eat or drink and she doesn't respond I get really frustrated. It's the whole 'why won't you just eat!' kind of thing. It's like watching something break and you know you can't fix it but you keep trying, but with a live little animal.

Still, at least we rescued her from battery farming. She's had a better life since then.

Many merry returns from myself. I've had a lovely couple of days, and I have one slight problem. Yesterday evening, I went with Mum up to London to see Joz's comedy show, which was incredibly weird but very funny. Anyway, I'll admit a couple of ciders had me very giggly and happy, one the drive home I thought of something fantastic to blog about. I was tipsy, and practically asleep so of course I have no recollection of what that was. I think it was something to do with childhood and I've been desperately trying to remember, but it's gone.

SO my time in London. Turning into my favourite place more and more. I had such a perfect evening. Started in Brixton I think it was with just Mum and I, we went through these little markety areas and had a drink in a bar. It was obviously meant to be an alcoholic beverages and cocktails kind of place, but Mum took us in and asked for Tea. Then Mum looked at the wall of spirits and turned to me and said "Would you like um... a hot chocolate or something?"I had tea as well. There was an embarrassing incident where Mum knocked the table (which used to be a suitcase) and I panicked expecting the hot tea to go all over me and leapt up, everyone in the cafe started at me and the girls next to us asked if I was okay. Embarrassing event of the evening.

The cafe was so sweet though, it had suitcases on the walls holding drinks inside, colour-coded books under the counter and a giant lamp (on the right there).

This is Mum in the cafe, texting Dad. Probably something along the lines of "Having tea with Poppy in a cute cafe. Yay to life! X"

We then went along to the venue where Joz was performing, helped him get some milk and stuff for his props (which he used later as pretend semen and hit mum round the face with the sandwich bag container). Mum had bought an insane amount of food for us to eat.

I'll try and list everything:

• 2 granary baguettes
• Chocolate philadelphia spread
• Chicken pieces
• Crackers
• Carrots sticks
• Breadsticks
• 3 types of humous
• Orange juice
• Grape juice
• Goats cheese
• Jarlsberg
• Grapes
• Cheese and onion crisps
• Salt and vinegar crisps
• Cherry bakewells
• Chocolate tiffin

She also brought a wet cloth 'just in case' which we did use to be fair to her mothering techniques.

There's Ma, enjoying the food.

To give you a better sense of everything.

Then we had a drink with some of Joz's friends before the show and chatted for a while, the show then started. It was very very funny, strange but funny. I was busting for the loo at one point and I left it for ages because I was terrified that I'd get picked on. But eventually I made a run for it. There was a woman sat next to me who was laughing so loudly, she was loving it, and I could hear my brother Barney behind me doing the lighting rig laughing before the jokes came, knowing what Joz was about to say.

It was just really nice to catch up with them again and talk to some interesting people. Seeing my brother's Dad was fun as well, he was in good spirits. So it was just lovely.

Then last night I had a dream I was with Bex and Ollie and people in Nero and I wanted to get some food but I'd left my card in my new card holder at home. I then asked Ollie if I could pay him back and he gave me his card and said "My pin number is 122C4" or something and I got all stressed because there aren't letters in a pin number, and when I typed it in he had no money so I couldn't eat the food. But the lady next to me was getting three pieces of cake, so when she wasn't looking I ate it and it was very nice.

I didn't get to finish the cake because we had to leave when I argued with one of the waitresses about a previous argument, so we left. Later that night, James Kelly and Evie and I snuck back to the Nero which was now a museum so I could eat my cake, and they had to fight off people trying to stop me so I could go and finish it. The end of the dream was just me eating some chocolate cake watching the others fighting the guards.

It was very odd. I went and got some chocolate cake from Nero today because I really fancied it. I'm off to have a lovely romantic meal with Bex now. Here's Jemma stuffing 3 Jaffas into her mouth. Goodnight.

I'm selling a bunch of stuff on Ebay if anyone is interested. This one hopefully will go for something, they only made 100 of them:
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/181096105466?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

Check out my other stuff as well, there's some CDs. Clearing stuff out and such like. Spending is so addictive. Honestly. I get it from my mum, she buys a lot of stuff off the internet and sends it back all the time.

Tomorrow evening I'm up to Laaaandon to see 'Joz Norris Is Missing' which is a show, obviously, written and performed by my brother Joz. We're very excited about it. These shows normally involve him in stretchy lycra or leggings, it's well worth it. Useful for more than just ammunition though, because he's actually quite funny (from what I remember).

At the moment my parents are thinking of selling, which means that we keep having different estate agents looking round. It's so hard keeping your room tidy all the time, and I'll be in the middle of some work and some random person will come in and go 'Sorry, just looking.'

Very short bits today but lots on my mind.

I'm amazed at myself for never having broached this subject before, I'm going to talk about negativity. It's funny, it's a concept which a lot of people are judged by and it's always been something I worry about, and I've never talked about it before, to my recollection. I hate negative people. There's always a problem, always some way of finding the bad in everything. And yet, I'm completely one of them. The humour I use is always negative exaggeration, but it's now something I factor into most of what I say and it's driving me up the walls.

Maybe it's been a huge aspect of my life because Mum always talks about how much she hates negative people, and she compensates by being all "Look at this VIEW!" But then when someone in my house is feeling low it's 'but' this and 'but' that. It's very depressing when people are like that.

It seems to be a generational thing too. We talk about how shit everything is and force our opinions on other people. Plus it's all the bitching, who doesn't like who, why she isn't very nice, how big her legs look in those jeans blah di blah. It's completely exhausting and very very boring but we do it, and once you've noticed it at sixth form it'll haunt you all the time. On the opposite side, too much positivity can be very annoying as well. If someone is always looking for the good in EVERYTHING it suppresses the frustrations and not talking about them can be very detrimental I think.

I am a guest author on P's blogSPOT (tee hee).  Talking of spots, I was in a tight one today, at the dentist having a root canal filling (note to self - don't get old).  My dentist is Excellent but a man of few words - and he's sold his BMW R1100 GS, which had been our sole topic for small talk before he filled my face with utensils.  Anyway, he works v quickly and he gave me some instruction just as he and the assistant vacated the surgery at high speed in order to take an X ray.  As he left he got me to put my finger in my mouth (which I could no longer feel, nor my nose come to think of it) in order to hold a small negative in place for the X ray, then said "Don't close your mouth because I've left a file in the hole I've drilled in your tooth to see how deep it is"!!!! FFS, he showed me the file afterwards and it looks like something you would use on your car, or put in a cake for "Fingers McGrath" on D wing.  But, dear reader, I was SOOOOOO brave, drove home and watched an hour of TV preparing myself for the inevitable pain to arrive as the anaesthetic wore off.  It is now some 6 hours later and I have had virtually no pain, but don't tell my family as they have already treated me to some dark chocolate. 

Robert Evans - telling it like it is since 1956

Had to share some photos will y'awl. Was trying to see what predictions would turn up on the Google search bar. Some funny ones:

Do you spain?

Some nice family ones here:

Because when you're car is missing, the first thing you should do is google it.

"This is an important lesson to remember when you're having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won't feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel really fucking evil. And you can't be birthed again until you've died."
Kelly Cutrone

Fun things to do when we're older and stuff

I had this dream a while ago, and I've not stopped casting my mind back to it. You know when you have those dreams where you're the person you wish you were in reality? So, I was her, and there was some random boy with his face all blurred out, and the beginning of the dream I'm sat next to him and it's the start of sixth form. I turn to him and smile, and then I say: "If you let me be a part of your life I will be the best fun you'll ever have." It sounds like it's going down a romantic route, but sadly nothing happened with smudgey face boy.

Anyway, then in the dream my plan was to do crazy things that were good fun, without pushing the boundary of too much trouble. The dream never lived any situations out, but here's one I thought would be fun:

1. Go out one night, meet a bunch of people, (who have to have weird names like 'Sky' and 'Quinton'), and wake up the next morning to the smell of pancakes in a place you don't recognise.  - You must pick these people carefully. It would be a shame if this 'fun thing' turned into a bit of an awkward druggie situation.

I'm going to come up with a list of experiences I want to live out during my life and then I'll update. But I think that one would be cool.

Forgot to mention this, everyone check out this blog! Was pining for all the clothes on this page:
http://epic-thread.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Fashion

When Poppy came home from work today, Fiona and Rob had cleared out the outside studio space, (free from almost all wool), so Poppy can use it to 'hang' - as her mother said - with friends. It looks so sweet in there, and now she's getting all excited to decorate it and stuff. So happy! I hope she puts me in there. Anyway, she went up into the loft with Rob to see if she could find anything inspiring or useful for the room. She didn't. Which is funny, there's a lot of good stuff up there. But in the short time she was up there she got a snapshot at a lot of memories. Which included seeing Queen Victoria's doctor's scales. That's right - her grumpy highness' arse has stood on the scales in my attic.

In the attic she found lots of childhood things that she'd forgotten, much to my delight, which I've written below for you (unfortunately Poppy forgot to take photos literally and now the attic is shut and she's covered in dust so there's no way she's going back up there. Trust me, I've tried persuading her. I'll just have to use vivid description).

1. Mum's knitted fields blanket.

This is a small blanket she made, which had different fields and a road knitted on it, with a river running through it, and sticky outy bits for the sheep. Poppy recognised it because she's made one since then for another baby, but Rob reminded her it was hers originally. So cute!

2. Foxy.

Rob and Poppy used to spend a lot of time mucking around when I was younger and this included a fox puppet imaginatively named: 'Foxy.' I don't exactly remember how they used to play with it now, I assume Rob would put on a mock gruff voice and she'd just laugh because kids laugh at things like that. She used to laugh at stupid positions she'd put me in. Weird girl. But as soon as she saw it she went 'Foxy!' which clearly shows it meant a lot to her. Well done Rob, I'd say you passed fatherhood there.

3. Her abused myscene.

Crudely, this contained a stunning black female which I remember Poppy losing the box for and forgetting her name, so she had re-named her 'Jamaica.' Bit of accidental child racism there. But to be fair, everyone thought that was a really pretty name and we liked her very much.

She re-found the evil guy (who's name I forget) who had the 666 tattooed on the back of his head. There was Noleen dressed to the nines in her lovely striped trousers. A very cute baby barbie which made Poppy feel all broody...

Then there was one that made Poppy laugh. Formerly known as 'Mulan' though you'd never have recognised. She was dressed in some garish modern slutty barbie clothes and half of her face make up (which was clearly made in a separate layer) had peeled off. She looked like a burns victim. But the hair... oh god. She'd cut it practically all off. She looked so traumatised. Poppy was an evil child. No wonder her parents took them all away and hid them.

4. Womble.

This is a bit of a strange one, as a youngen' I never once remember watching the Wombles with my family. It was a Christmas present, with a built in waterbottle. Which I don't think was ever used. She took the waterbottle out and he became Poppy's (only) long term serious boyfriend. In his defence, (or Poppy's seeing as he's just a piece of fluff essentially), he is very comfy.

5. Goldie.

Poppy's favourite ever. A typical teddy bear like no other. Always has been beautiful. A bit battered - it's why everyone loves me. No one remembers where I came from or who had me first but I was always her favourite. She simply couldn't leave me in the attic.

Thanks for reading :)

From Goldie, the editor.

Today - I have an actual topic. I killed my first animal today. (And by animal, I mean not like when you kill an ant by accident and you go 'ew gross' and brush the ant blood and carcass off your hand, I mean an actual biggish animal). At lunch I drove Michelle and Bex to KFC to cheer us all up, and we were going at 60 when this thing flies over and hits the bonnet. Bex started screaming and then the three of us burst into hysterical laughter, because I looked in the rearview mirror and this massive waft of feathers went up into the air around the car behind us. I mean obviously, I felt incredibly guilty and sad for this poor bird but for some reason at that moment it was hilarious.

Even as I wrote that last paragraph I laughed again replaying the memory, I don't know why. I came up with a back story about how the bird survived and went on to greater things, which perhaps makes me feel better about the whole situation. We drove back a different way so I'll never know if it died or not. I hope it didn't, but it doesn't look promising does it?

Here are a couple of photos to keep you up to date on my life at the minute:

1. Here is a photo of me that Tom took on my phone why I was taking ugly photos of myself on his phone -

2. This is a cat that welcomed me home the other day and kept brushing itself against me till I let it into my garden. I am scared of cats, so I did let it in, all the while terrified it would either a) attack me or b) attack my mother's most prize pocession: the chickens.

It didn't though. It smelt dog and left me. Lucky to survive that one really.

Aaaah how exciting my life is.