Colonel is dying and I can't bear it. I didn't think it would bother me when the time came seeing as I don't like the chickens much, but it's heart breaking watching her. She's barely moved for around two weeks and the past two days she didn't come out at all, so Mum and Dad took her out and when I came down this morning Mum was forcing liquid medicine down her throat. It's pretty clear that it's not going to save her though.

She's now curled up in a massive bucket with loads of hay and water and food (which she hasn't touched) with her eyes shut, all curled up in herself. Mum's put a crystal on the floor by her, she's getting all spiritual about her surviving. It's so sad.

We've been playing calm music in the room with her, and if you stand and watch her she occasionally moves or curls up more, eyes shut. She's so vulnerable looking. It's not nice to keep having to check she's alive, sometimes I have to blow air at her to see if she's still here.

Bit of a nasty reminder about the fragility of life, whenever I try and encourage her to eat or drink and she doesn't respond I get really frustrated. It's the whole 'why won't you just eat!' kind of thing. It's like watching something break and you know you can't fix it but you keep trying, but with a live little animal.

Still, at least we rescued her from battery farming. She's had a better life since then.