My brother is home from London this weekend, and I realised my family is like a sitcom, with all the typical characters. There's my mum, who takes the opportunity of having a son home by cooking anything she can find. She also keeps making little jokes but Joz just takes the piss out of her and winds her up. Then there's Barney, (who isn't here but roll with it), a typical Oxford snob, who: wakes up at 8 every morning, drinks coffee, plays piano and talks about realism and modernism and surrealism and anything other isms you can think of to do with clever things. He's posh.

Then there's the comic one, Joz, who plays crippling bad 'prog rock' and makes everyone laugh all the time. He also dresses quite badly, today he's wearing a bright red shirt. The younger daughter who sits quietly in the corner, (believe it or not, I can't get a word in edgeways when my brother(s) are home), daydreaming about irrelevant stuff and being reminded to tidy my room, or look something up. Finally, there's dad. You wouldn't know he was around, except that you can tell he is because everything is still working. He's off somewhere walking the dog, or in the corner washing up, or walking around carrying light bulbs that he needs to fit. It's like he goes into hibernation when the boys are here.

Earlier we had a gigantic row over Doctor Who. Mum and I think it's awful, Joz does not. Although, he came up with a brilliant idea of a series for Doctor Who, where essentially nothing happens. There's one episode where he eats some cake, and he loves it so much he goes back in time and has to kill himself to eat it and then he creates this paradox because he's dead but he's not. In another one, he goes shopping with a cyberman. They're all hilarious.

This is extraordinary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDmp967UMds

You won't believe the day I've just had. So firstly, I went into Orange with my broken phone, and he calls up the people and they say they'll send me a new handset. I'm not making this up, as I am saying 'Yeah no it's totally dead, there's not even a red light...' to the guy down the phone, 'Tom,' (who I seem to be seeing very often what with all the phone palaver that's been occurring of late), takes the battery out, puts it back in and presses the on button. When I did that frantically last night? Nothing. When he did it? It turned on didn't it.

My mum and Evie and Tom are all having a good laugh at me, meanwhile I'm still speaking to this phone man saying 'I just came back to it and it won't charge or turn on....Yeah it's completely dead.' I had to hold the receiver away from me to laugh. Anyway, nice 'Tom,' (who, by the way has used his Media degree from Reading to film videos for Diana Vickers, Labrinth and Tinie Tempah to name a few), held his finger to his lips so that I could still get a new phone.

Anyway, later on today, I had a driving lesson. (In fact, just now). I had just crammed down my throat a pack of crisps and a chocolate bar because I was a bit late. So I thought, around about 10 metres from the car, that some chewing gum would be a good idea. Now, I love gum, but I'm aware that adults find it annoying and I feel uncomfortable chewing in front of them sometimes. Especially seeing as she was trusting me with her car. So I panic, and think 'I have to get rid of this now.' And at that moment, the only seemingly possible option was to smush the gum into my tights under my dress. So, I took it out my mouth while she wasn't looking and realised it was really sticky. I smush it under my tights, which took a lot of effort, but I still had loads of stringy stuff attached to my hands.

I start trying to  brush it off, but I'm getting stickier and sticker, and I just kept talking at Jane hoping she wouldn't notice and I could buy myself time. Eventually, I just had to say 'I'm really sorry, I've just been taking down a notice board at school and I have blue tack all over my hands.' She gave me a wet wipe, and it was resolved. I doubt she believed me. I didn't believe me. But that's how it happened. And then I arrived home, this is it AFTER having scraped most of the gum off my leg. It was also hanging attached to the inside of my dress:

I honestly don't know how I manage to be this sexy. Ciao for now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iL5NCrhHLo&feature=related

I've missed the xx.

Found this newer one too, perfect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD7IwXWfDW4

I am really shattered today. Dad and I drove up to Birmingham this morning and then looked round the uni, then drove home, I went driving with dad and then we came back home. And for some reason I'm exhausted. My eye's been hurting loads as well, so I keep throwing warm water at it hoping it won't go all gammy. My phone has decided to take an unscheduled holiday and is not turning on. Nothing has happened to it but for some reason it's not turning on or charging, so I'm back to that shitty temp phone again, and I'm going to yell at an unfortunate man in Orange tomorrow. How much do new batteries cost?

On a plus note, I really liked Birmingham today and I think I've picked my top 5 unis now which feels good. And another plus note is that the essay someone mentioned to me the other day didn't actually exist (which I should've worked out, seeing as it was Mr dew who set it). But yeah, arrived at the uni and Hannah Bourne was there, and we went on the tour with her and kept bumping into her all day, which was funny. We had a nice little moment when we were looking round the gym. We were walking out and I said to Hannah 'The guy sat down nearest us?' and she said 'Yep I saw him too.' Mmm....

Plus, these last couple of days I've been going scrapbook mad and filling it with loads of stuff which is good. I'm finally getting on with it ready to take to uni next year. My pa, bless him is getting properly into this laundry basket. Mum's been working out with him how they're going to attach the cushion and dad had a special trip out this evening to buy some more slats. And I forgot to mention, my mum went on a straw bale course, and she's now designing her future house and workshop studio. She wants to get lots of old ladies to come and sing and have therapy sessions and eat cake. That's going to be her next job.

One thing that is annoying me, is that my cheques haven't gone into my account yet, so iTunes is really cross with me because I owe them money. And I hate that jacket I bought recently, the white and light blue one, so I'm sending it back. In hindsight, I shouldn't really have tried to pull off a black-girl style, the girl on the website looks so good in it:

People go through life, changing and developing. Most people improve as well. Normally this process takes countless mistakes and attempts until they learn their lesson. It can be things like, 'I need to be more gentle on my clutch at junctions', or more complex situations for example, 'I won't sleep with someone on a first date again.' I'd say it takes quite a few tries to get these things into our system. I said once before that I believed people could change instantly if they had the discipline and the will power. I still believe that's true, but I think it's incredibly difficult and I'm not one of those people.

But also, sometimes if you change too quickly, then people don't adjust to you at the same rate, so you end up having to totally start again. If you do change really quickly, you kind of have no option but to make new friends as a new person. But then, if you're going to do that it's probably a good idea to have a really good thing about whether you're the right version of you. Everyone has a dream version of themselves that they want to be, or just little things that they want to adjust, whether it's your nose or your lack of modesty or something.

So I've decided, every day I'm going to write down something that I think about myself that I don't like. Then over time, I'll keep checking the list to see if I've improved on any of them or if I'm worse. It's all part of this being conscious of who you are type thing. It's going to be near impossible to stop any negative thoughts about yourself, but if you can constructively work on them then maybe it's using the negativity to a productive outcome.

My mum has decided we need a 'negativity box' so every time we say anything negative about ourselves we put in 50p. Bloody expensive idea if you ask me, my mum is always overly critical about herself so we're going to end up with her losing all her change and getting really annoyed at herself. Could be pretty entertaining.

Here's a funny picture of a penguin. I thought it was funny at least:

HI PEPSI!!!!

I've been waiting for something interesting enough to happen to me for me to blog, and I've realised that enough has happened now for that to be possible.

Found an old conversation I had with Ollie earlier:

Made me laugh.

Anyway, I've been going out in my car with my parents, and today I went out for the first time with mum. It was one of those really depressing drives though, I was completely shattered and I went up on the curb and then later on the L plate flew off the front of the car. We pulled over and I made mum drive us home to watch a film. Had a secretive little sob to myself.

I don't understand why I'm so tired. I slept for way too long friday night, and felt awful all day at work. My boss actually let me go earlier saying I needed sleep. Then I stayed over Bex's and we went to bed at around half 11, so I don't get why I'm so tired. And I'm pretty sure I've cracked a bone on my back somewhere, it's so painful all the time, I can barely sleep on it now.

Maybe it's just a bit of a lull since school's started, I feel like that initial energy is kind of gone now and it's just trudging onwards. Though I have to say, school doesn't seem too scary on the whole university front. Miss Evans said to me to take as long as I want on my personal statement because it's important, so I'm happy to calm that all down now. To be honest, everyone keeps talking about how stressful UCAS is, I really haven't found that at all. Had a chat with this nice girl in year 12 at speech day and I said that to her. I think year 12 is harder because you don't know who to talk to or where to sit and stuff.

Finally found this song as well, been humming 'oh ah' for AGES now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np5NFpOJHkI

Went to a shisha bar the other day, and Danny started coughing loads, and then he stopped and Isobel looked really shocked, so I thought 'Oh my god, he's coughed up blood' I look at the floor, and he's just brought a bloody earwig up. Alive. Must've come up the pipes from the shisha, absolutely disgusting. Izzy did take a photo but I'm not sharing it with you because it's horrible.

https://www.youtube.com/user/PoppyBexEvans?feature=watch

Just uploaded a couple of old videos, you may remember. About to edit one together of me and Pap too, so I'll repost tomorrow.

Well... interesting last few days. Right now, mum's up in London moving some of Joz's stuff to somewhere else. Dad is currently outside in the shed, fanatically working on a new laundry basket/stool he wants me to take uni bless him. He's already made me come outside and try sitting on it to make sure it works. I think mum's planning on making a cushion for the top of it (not exaggerating).

What else happened this weekend? Erm... let me see.... Oh! Mum went and bought me a car!! I was sat on the train coming home from Cardiff, and she texts me saying 'Just bought you a car.' and I had to force the details out of her. Was desperately trying not to wet myself with excitement. Anyway, I'm not going to put up the photos yet until it's home, so watch this space.

Had to work 9-6 yesterday after the party on friday. I was stomaching a lovely vod hangover, and I was sat eating lunch, added up all the calories I was eating. In that one go? 2100. That's 600 more than your daily average. Didn't feel much better after that I have to admit.

Evie and I showing our stunning pardy swagger.

Well, what a journey it's been:

From that first disgusting blue... to the green colour it went...

Dragged others down with me...

(My personal favourite)

The faded pink...

And finally to the plain blonde tinge. It's definitely feeling like the end of an era. An era, which I expect my children will look at photos of and ask what the hell I was thinking. Our modern day 'perm.'

It's been coming for a while now, say hello to old Poppy (but a bit darker):

It's funny, I was texting someone earlier saying that I had two older brothers, and I typed out 'they're piss annoying' and then suddenly thought, no they aren't. I've always been in complete awe of them, and despite mum's best efforts to make us normal, I don't really remember there being any arguments or bickering when I was a kid with them.

Actually, there was this one time when we were on holiday, Joz was about 11 and Barney about 14, and Joz was humming. Barney said 'Joz, shut up.' There was a little pause, then Joz carried on humming. It went on like that until I came to the doorway just in time to see Barney holding Joz against the wall telling him to shut up or else. I cried, and ran down to my parents, when I came back upstairs, Barney had gone into my room, stripped all my barbies and put them in funny positions to say sorry to me. So we've never been tooooo typical I guess.

But they never really annoy me. Barney is innocuously loud and Joz is awkward beyond belief, but still it's not regular for me to hate them. People with older brothers talk about how protective they are if they ever have a love interest, but I have to say mine aren't at all. I kind of wish they were. Barney's been out 'clubbing' with my ex boyfriend. That was odd.

And now where are they? Joz is a comedian, and I'm waiting for his big break. He's been destined to do well for himself since he was at school. He's the most convincing actor you could see. He would walk on stage, and it just wouldn't be Joz anymore. It's what I spent years trying to achieve but I couldn't, think you have to just have it.

Barney, Barney is a bloody genius is what he is. Hugely intelligent man, very wise but never uses his own theories. And just like me, he tortures himself. I think anyway, it's not something I've ever said to him. I was always closer to Joz growing up but I feel like there's this line of similarity between him and I that I don't want to acknowledge to him in case it breaks.

I love my brothers.

SORRYSORRYSORRY I'm back.

I don't have too much to update on, apart from turning up at training tonight, and my colleague shows me a page on facebook and says 'Who needs a boyfriend when you can have this?' the page name? "Girl's Wank Bank." I just stood there wetting myself laughing, I think I said something along the lines of 'I'll give up the search for Mr Right then, thank god.' She cracks me up I love her.

I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY. And as normal, I found a way to super embarrass myself, starting with discovering that you really should try clothes on when you go shopping, I put on my new gym kit and the boob restrainer bit was halfway up my bra, so I had to wrench it down and it meant I was cleavage-central (have to say I didn't mind this, seeing lack of I normally have). Then, the tight fitting trousery things must have forced a good couple of kilograms off my arse that session, they were so tight. I was incredibly tempted to take a picture for your amusement, but decided that would be verging on strange. So I didn't. In case you were wondering.

After that, I was on the cross trainer dancing and mouthing along to Nicole Scherzinger, and Evie kept laughing at me. Then I went to do 'toning exercises' which is basically, when I'm really tired I go to the mats round the corner of the cross trainers, so Evie can't see that I'm actually just having a lie down. If anyone looked I started bending a bit, or changing my iPod song. Those classic tricks. I love the gym. You get a free swim if you go as well, as long as they don't notice you slipping in, that is.

Here's a video of Ollie and I pretending to be from Made In Chelsea:

For some reason fridays always make me feel really nervous. I actually love being at school, I always think I hate it all summer and then as soon as it comes I realise how much I miss even having a reason to not be at home trapped in the house. But friday nights make me feel sort of weird, I have to say I'm feeling particularly queasy tonight.

But I've downloaded 'Good Life' onto my iPod and that's my new repeat song. Tonight I'm going to tidy and organise everything for next week. And I want to properly start on my book 'Life' that my brother has given me. So far its had a lot of clever words in and I'm desperately trying to keep up with them.

I feel like a winter nurture evening, so I'm going to make myself some tea, get my slobs on, sit and read and then have a bath later.

Today, I'm feeling pretty stressed I have to say. This term I've got to maintain choir, driving lessons, work shifts, stage, the revue, A level and my remarking. And whenever they mention how much we have to do this year, my gut twists itself up and I get really panicky. I wish they'd do it in a nicer way because it's not really helping me to 'relax'. I guess I shouldn't expect much, it's the year I've been dreading since year 7 and it's here.

*  *  *  *  *

Interestingly, I decided to wait for a while before I continued that. In evaluation, the reason I probably felt stressed was because I was blogging instead of actually doing the stuff that needed to be done.

So here is my topic for this evening: See-through clothing.

Now. I've decided to go for the whole 'classy' thing, seeing as dressing like an 'aggressive lesbian,' (thanks mum for that quote), wasn't really working for me. I've bought two white dresses on asos. The first is pretty lovely, but there are definite bra issues at the back so I shall need to wear it in winter with a jacket. The second dress, makes me look a bit like a nurse. I sort of like it, but because it's white and not lined YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING. Thankfully, this morning I selected black underwear out of my drawers, which has opened my eyes to this. God forbid I were to throw it on tomorrow in the excitement of its arrival and in the dark, mistake that it shows EVERYTHING YOU COULD IMAGINE.

So that made me think, okay well, maybe mum could make me a lining. But why do I have to make the lining? And why is every white fabric see through? It isn't at all a trend I would go for. If you want to buy see through clothing you would go all out for it and wear bloody fishnet vests. This is simply not what I wanted. So I am undecided about returning it. I may have to try out every pair of pants I can find tonight and make up my mind.

This is what I had hoped it would look like:

Now, this has to be the worst advert I've ever seen for a dating site. I mean, I'm all for mature people's dating sites, don't get me wrong. But is this really the finest woman they could pick of the lot? Actually, it seems to be ringing a few bells with me... yep. Yep I know why it's familiar.

The resemblance is striking.

I'm really excited, my dad's just paid for me to do a writing course for a term with Out of Joint theatre company. I'm actually bloody relieved, since deciding to take english at uni instead of drama I have nothing to write about on my personal statement.

Mum went to work again tonight, so this happened again:

Also, my dad is reading a book which his friend has just self published, and he says it's really enjoyable and he's loving it. So if anyone has a dad's birthday coming up, then buy this. Make your parents. Please.

http://www.troubador.co.uk/book_info.asp?bookid=1719

Okay, I'll admit, I didn't do the run or the yoga. In fact, I woke up at 9, don't remember my alarm even going off, (that's how heavily I sleep), then got ready to go and was too early still. Thank god I didn't wake up at 7. I did get to tidy my room though. A bit. The clothes are sorted anyway.

So now, I feel more chilled about this year. Miss Evans was very calm, no one yelled at me for my class civ result, and I could actually afford a drink from Boston afterwards. Had a catch up with some people which was good. Told Zara about my dream.

I had a really weird dream. I was 16 again, married to some random guy my age and me and my parents and him were going round to everyone who thought it was weird saying 'Ohh no we're just married for now, for fun. I'm not going to end up married to him ( / her).' It was very odd. And then I was at a train station leaping over the tracks because I didn't want to be late for school, and the middle platform was apparently where everyone went when they felt depressed. It was a really old train station as well, all rusty and disgusting.

I slept pretty well obviously. But it's too hot.

Had a meeting for drama revue today, and we're struggling with ideas a bit. There were a couple of good ones in the box, but honestly we'd like to hear more, seeing as we don't have many so far. If anyone has any ideas, send a joint message to Hannah Armstrong, Jessie Whittick, Ruth Price and me. It'd be really helpful to get some more themes on the table. Soon we'll have an outline and ask people to put some scenes together, so we'll keep everyone posted. (Or I will, virtually, on here, talking to myself).

Still annoyed about Doctor Who yesterday:

So stupid.

I realise I've gone a bit frequent with the blogging today, but I don't care.

I'm in bed, having just downloaded 'Say it right' onto my iPod, and I love it so much I've got it on repeat. And it was only 59p! Crazy!

I am just in a ridiculously good mood tonight. I'm going to wake up at 7 tomorrow morning, go for a run and do my yoga, then tidy my room. I feel like I'm about to go into one of those 'FUCK YEAH' phases. It's weird, I think I'll miss being a teenage when your moods are all up and down. Because the 'FUCK YEAH' moments, when you're not even drunk are just the best thing ever.

Not impressed. At all.

On a lighter note, I went to see Punk Rock last night by Just Talk Theatre Company and I really enjoyed it. For a start, I was sat behind James Kelly's parents, so I got to watch them squirming when Duncan had to grab his crotch. And there was one bit where Duncan said something to Kelly about him having thoughts about his mum or something, and Chris looked at his mum and she looked so disgusted, it was hilarious. The best bit was when James had to kiss Catt and his dad looked away. So funny. SJ, Toby, Chloe, Barney and me were sat behind them wetting ourselves. (Not literally of course, that would be weird).

But it was the first time I'd seen a production of the play, and I was really interested because we wanted to do it for our drama coursework last year but couldn't. I really liked the script, and actually I think the deterioration of William's sort of grip on life was really well done. Maybe by the script, but quite possibly more through Robin's acting. And Robin's dad was in it at the end! He was amazing!

I won't be too boring and go on and on, I know I'm a bit overly keen for plays, so I'll leave it there. But James Kelly was really really good, he played this little nerdy kid and he had this one bit where he had to tell the bully to fuck off, which was really good. And Duncan was amazing as the bully. He worked with the script really well I thought.

BYE.