It's been that with a combination of personal stuff, money worries and not adoring my coursework that has made me feel a little alienated at the moment. I've been taking it out on all the wrong people, friends, flatmates and my parents worrying about me at home (despite the addition of a brand new fluffy dressing gown which dad treated me to a couple of weeks ago). I even had my first ever moment of acting like my mum when she's stressed - that's a scary experience for anyone!
This week was particularly bad, after last Saturday's night out I had to take the liberty of sending THREE apology messages to people the next day who'd I'd unfairly harassed or been rude to... not impressive behaviour. Probably the most psycho I've ever been... I shan't go into details. So yesterday I took the opportunity after doing my work, having a bath and going for an early night to thank everyone important who's suffered from my little breakdowns.
Sometimes when you know you've got a shit day coming up and you're worrying about it, all you need to do is stop and take a step back from it. I realised last night that whatever the problem is, you probably won't even remember in a years time. Or maybe even a month's time. And if it goes horrifically worse than you'd expected? Is it really going to change where you find yourself in five years time? Probably not.
So it is time to let go of all the worries and actually knuckle down with work. My sleeping has been a nightmare for weeks (literally after an array of horrifying bad dreams) so I've been sleeping earlier, reading more and eating a little less. Milly's even going to attempt getting me on her workout programme... ha... how often have I said that before though.
Bit of self-belief, bit of gratitude for the love you have around you, and a bit of momentum was all I needed. You got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment