Fiction

  I read a book recently, with lots of stories combined together. One of them was from the point of this guy, and he had a girlfriend called Poppy. It was very strange, there were loads of parallels between me and her and past relationships. I realised at the end, when it split off into that Hollywood ending, exactly where we get all this shit from. I'm not saying the guy in the book was at all similar to anyone I've had things with in the past, but it infuriated me.

  The character was this scumbag, bankrupt, drug taking mess, (again not one of mine but personality traits), but at the end of the book he calls up Poppy and he asks her to marry him because he suddenly realises he loves her and it's a lovely smoochy poo moment.

  I got to thinking about all the fiction I read as a child. Hell even the expressions and 'wisedom' we hear. 'If you want someone, go out and get them' 'Don't let them get away' and sometimes those are so innapropriate. We've all had that ex, or sometimes not even an ex, who won't give you time to breath and is desperately trying to keep things going by being with you constantly. They think if they let go you'll forget them.

  What are we being fed? I thinking there was a moment as a teen where I worked out that life wasn't going to be one big fairytale, and that you'll have to work constantly to be happy with the person you love. Again, I've never been in love so I don't really know what it's like but it's obvious that's the way it works. Look at your parents, whose parents have been 100% happy forever? Exactly.

  Life is never going to be easy, all it can be is god damned awesome. And that's what I'm looking for. To be a good person, to good things and to have a fucking good time.