Well, I'm back. I've actually managed to come back with less luggage, an impressively slightly noticeable tan and an empty bank account.

It's been a funny week, I met some absolutely hilarious people. There was Pepsi, who was constantly laughing. I adored her. Then there was Jake, who pushed me off a wall into the sea, persuaded me that he'd had a gang bang and that people were naked under their wetsuits, and who spent a week saying 'Boys is boys'. There was Jack, who used spf 2 tanning OIL for sun protection and burnt the bejesus out of his body, Ellie who followed us round tesco while we were buying cake going 'You know where all that will end up...' Little Ellie, who I bullied into having a crush on a younger boy and now I feel terribly guilty.

The alpaca farm was absolutely beautiful, my mum came to visit and now she's bullying my dad about getting some when they move house.

Apart from that, there wasn't a huge eventful thing that happened, that's the gist. Ollie popped down to visit for a couple of days and we thought it would be hilarious to buy an inflatable boat to go sailing on... not such a good idea. Purely because there was a huge leak in one of the compartments, so it just filled with water all the time. So Ollie's genius idea? Rip a massive hole in the side of it to let the water out. Funnily enough, that didn't make it much easier.

Lights parade was beautiful, and I'd forgotten how lovely Lyme is, it feels like home since I've been going there since I was 5. My parents and I went to a wedding, and my parents said to me 'We'll take your raggy in case you want it on the way home' (my raggy was a piece of old knitting which I would rub over my top lip whilst sucking my thumb), and as we were getting into the car to go home, my parents revealed a packed suitcase for me, and we went for a few days away in Lyme. We've been going ever since and I absolutely adore the atmosphere there.

One problem, is that Lyme really didn't understand heels. Whenever we wore them, even with jeans people would stare at us like we made absolutely no sense. What can I say. Clearly not designed for beach wear, and I sort of think I could've coped without them.

I've arrived home smelling of salt and fake tan, I feel like my skin is burning a little bit but I'm very happy I went.

I thought this was a clever way to deal with classic builder issues, and yes, this was sent to me by my mother.