I'm doing this new positivity thing where I try not to let myself think about things so much. I've been coming up with every possible kind of distraction. So right now, I'm listening to incredibly loud music (ish, my dad is still home so it's not that loud) and eating shreddies off the desk whilst typing as fast as I can so my mind is literally hemorrhaging with information but it doesn't have time to process it. So distracting is going well. Recently it hasn't taken this much to ignore everything I want to ignore, but you know when you're low you're more partial to be exempt and let yourself feel emotional things. Well I just watched a sad film by myself, (okay not very sad it was 'New Years' or something but the scene where Robert DeNiro dies and then Hally Berry is talking to her boyfriend over skype on new years because he's out somewhere at war), and now I feel kind of like I'm having a low point in the week but I'm going to keep eating shreddies and maybe have a drink to calm myself.

My arm really hurts. It's how I imagine shooting pains would be in your left arm when your heart is going crazy, but it's in my right arm. But it doesn't really feel like that, it feels more bruised you know?

Tell 'em hey! Give me everything tonight.

Going mad going mad going mad. Okay I may need to get more cereal because I'm running out of shreddies. But then I do feel a wee bit sick. Jeez I feel hyper.

I'm wired and hyper but my head's really tired but for some reason I'm awake at the same time. I was thinking the other day about how everyone is always really tired, and I don't think anyone ever feels properly awake. I mean seriously, when have you ever thought "jesus I'm awake"? Sleeping loads in holidays makes me more tired and not sleeping makes me tired. Maybe feeling awake is just feeling tired but like moderately tired.

I'm enjoying this now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnRqc73QyfI

Woaaaaah I just sat back for a second and took this massive breath and my whole ribcage went really wide and relief sort of washed over me. I think I've pushed past my downer mood now. Gotta keep doing that technique then. That was great. Distractions can be so helpful.