It's been quite an odd day. It's been one of those days where everything starts off well, but then you make the fatal mistake of buying 2 packs of cookies and it alls goes down hill. Feeling some unnecessary stress for end of term as well, which I think is a bit unfair seeing as other form groups haven't had the same experience (if you're reading this and you're in my form you'll know what I'm talking about).

Plus I'm one of those people that's mood affected very easily... a misinterpreted look from someone... a red traffic light just as I get to the pavement... even just rain when I'm prepared for sun, all get to me. Sometimes it makes me wish I'd grown up in a very calm level bunch of family. But I'll never know.

More than anything I just want to be left alone and curl up in a ball for hours. I could literally stay in my room for weeks at a time and not complain (granted that I had food and a toilet and shower). I think the amount I've been working and doing stuff recently hasn't helped to chill me out ready for summer, and I'm actually getting quite stressed about whether I've allowed myself any time to just relax in these next few weeks.

Annoyingly, I know there's bunch of things I could do to make myself feel better. Here are some:

1. Tidying my room. It looks like a bombshell hit it.
2. Chucking away some old stuff
3. Going for a run and doing yoga
4. Getting back into the habit of meditating.
5. Packing what I need for tomorrow TONIGHT
6. NOT waking up at quarter to 8 tomorrow.

All those things would instantly make me feel tonnes better.

So, I've decided as part of a new optimism thing, (which I really suck at), I'm going to aim to do these things. Starting tomorrow I am going to wake up at 6 in the mornings again, blitz my room tonight, (of course, after some depressive moping and choir), and then I'm going to meditate and write a massive long letter to myself about how I feel. As yet, I don't know what'll come out, but apparently you can't feel sad for no reason, so if I keep writing I might work out why I'm feeling down. 

Here's a present dad brought back for me from somewhere he was working.