Parallels

  Why do we always find ourselves in the same positions? What is it in us that seeks out the same people, the same core relationships. Why? What do we think we'll find? I think the most disparaging situation is where you believe you've been much better off and then you realise that actually it's exactly the same as you've experienced before.

  There is something in our beings which seems to look for the same type of person, friendship, relationships, whatever form they come in. We go for the same things. I'm not talking about brown hair and abs, I'm talking about personality, or perhaps it's attitude. Sometimes there is a type of person that looks for people to take authority over them, because they can't handle it. Or people who look for shy people and hope to progress them, projects. Why do we look for certain things in a person?

  My brother said recently, that there are two reasons people can have relationships. Either they have been through a lot together, and are tied together by past but have no common interests, a fascinating one. How is that you can experience the same things and all learn from it differently? Become different people? How strange. It just goes to show, even if someone went through exactly what you went through they might take a great deal different to how you have. It's a nice sense of individuality I think. The second reason, is common interests. A straight forward one.

  I like to evaluate. What do I look for in people? I know really. I want what I can't have, and I am impressed by people in their attitude, which is generally people who give off an air of 'Yeah fucking whatever' two fingers up to the world. Because I admire it and I hope they can teach me to feel it. But actually those people are normally scarred and once you get to know them and go past that point, they're totally vulnerable.

  Why do I want what I can't have? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

  But back to my thoughts on parallel situations, how can we stop ourselves getting to that position? What are the warning signs? I'm a strong believer in following your gut instinct. Every single 'uh oh' moment you have should be given great thought. We should be aware of everything. I'm not saying evaluate, I'm saying be intuitive, observe, learn. A strong believer but often not a practitioner. It's a hard habit to learn, I am trying. But it's surprising how often you suppress such feelings and excuse the person, without realising. Gut instinct from now on Pops. That's my top tip today, something we should all learn.