Had quite a frustrating day today, the rain drove everyone away so work was loooong. Then I couldn't meet up with anyone because I had so much work to do- and I've lost two of my canvases. Fuckety fuck fuck. And to top that, internet's been playing up and turning itself on and off, at critical moments, how does technology always know to do that? So annoying.

But anyway, I need to keep calm and religiously do art this week. I just realised though that my other subjects also require work, and I want to die. To be honest, I'm so stressed I'm at train point again. (Leaping on a train and getting away, I'm enjoying my new lingo). It's just really horrible to feel out of control of something. And it's stupid, because I do this with every art unit, and it's fine, but it's so annoying.

I also feel like I'm coming down with something, I think I have an ulsa right at the back of my throat, which kills. So I keep coughing and sneezing. Attractive.

But my weekend was actually amazing, Friday night I had the best night, despite Reuben not being able to come. The music was much better than I expected, and I spent all night laughing and dancing. Only down side was when Emma kept trying to kill me by tying my dress round my neck. But I was very happy. Stumbled back to sleep, and had a really lovely double bed to share with Jessie, we were very lucky. Although having said that, I woke up with fake tan pressed into me.

Just been listening to skrillex, this video is fucking scary:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cXDgFwE13g

Saturday night I had a really long phone conversation with someone, it's always nice to clear the air and sort some stuff out. I felt much better afterwards. And I'm really excited about stuff now. I've realised being bad isn't good. I should've known that before, concept wise, but I know now I need to stop all that pretentious shit. Because actually, I like the old Poppy, and even if no one else did, I don't care. Because it made me happy.

I've learnt a lot this year so far, mostly about myself. My friend said to me recently, that I used to be happy last year, I wasn't popular but I was a lot happier than I am now, (not that she was saying I'm popular now, but I've got more friends than before), and I thought about it for a bit, I was unhappy. Bu the thing was, that I didn't ever toss around my unhappiness like I seem to do when the least thing goes wrong nowadays. So, I'm going to prove something to myself, that I've wanted to for years. That you can changed like a switch flickering. Tomorrow's task is to think before I say absolutely anything. It's a self monitoring process till I can get it right.

And- think I might have casting sorted!! In an ideal world it would be me, Jessie, Kelly, Robin, Jess and George. I so want to get started now.

To make up for the fact I haven't blogged in ages, here's a video of me dancing: