I don't really know what to write about today. I was going to blog about ducks, but since it's mating season and they're raping each other all over the place, I don't fancy going into that. I also promised to talk about Georgina, but without going into her life story, I'm not sure there's much to say. I mean, Georgina isn't the kind of person you can sum up. I could talk about how funny Mr Dew was today, and how much he laughed at a dinosaur joke. I could mention how pointless general studies is, or talk about how I can't stop shaking. Or explain all about why I'm apparently applying for the apprentice (literal EL O EL).

And all these things would be perfectly acceptable, but it's not where I am. Not in my head, I'm sort of scared and almost sad but I don't know why. It's sort of due to the fact that whenever I've looked in the mirror lately, the stress and everything that's happened since the beginning of this academic year has finally showed up on my face. I look tired, ill, sort of faded.

It's funny, because I look older as well. Sort of, narrowed eyes, aged face, like I've just come out of a trauma. My natural face has turned to someone looking part shocked, part upset. It's pretty funny. I look ridiculous.

And my DRESS SENSE. What the fuck is going on?! I'm wandering around in a yellow raincoat, that is brighter than the sun. Today, I had two pairs of tights on (no disrespect G) and I bought TRAINERS to wear around. Not sure what I'm really aiming for, or what that kind of style really is. Retarded I'd call it. Maybe that should be the new trend... retarded. I'll work on it.

I just feel sort of numb at the minute, a bit confused about what's going on all the time. I'm tired, but extremely awake.

I had a funny dream last night, that I kissed two boys at the same party, and then these people came back to the room (because it was a hotel for some reason) and said they were going to bed, and don't worry about the party noise. They asked us to help them draw the curtain so we did. Then I was in the art room surrounded by cardboard and Miss E said 'THIS ISN'T ENOUGH' and I said, 'chill out, I've got a whole sketchbook at home' and she was like, oh fairplay. The relief was IMMENSE even in asleep world.

I'm tired. Goodnight.